things aren't going so well

Been getting emails about when people can come and visit, but I have to say I still don't know...

I STILL don't have that exam grade back. So, I STILL don't know if I can finish my degree, or get a certificate at least, or when/if I get deported. I was able to look forward to at least being here for New Year's- which was fantastic-but now I'm back to being completely distraught.

In the meantime I have to keep stressing myself out with other things. The classes that I'm taking (geovisualiztion and spatial modeling of human-environment interactions) are interesting enough, and the classes I'm auditing (society & development and java 2- which isn't so bad when I'm not doing it for a grade) are fantastic and and potentially useful, respectively. But my thesis process is a nightmare. I am currently trying to drastically revise my project plan before it's due on Thursday because of severe lack of data.... and what I'm doing instead may get compromised by the same thing....oh, and I might not be able to do it anyway because of the heavy technical aspects. Dr Mackaness has been very patient with me and told me that if I'm desperate enough I can still change topics after Thursday, but it's hardly helpful to me to start from scratch. ....but then, of course, I may not be here to do one anyway.

Feeling pretty lonely. Went out to breakfast this morning with friends as usual, but it's gotten out of hand with 25-30 people showing up this week and last, lots of whom I don't know, so it's not like I could just latch on to Nick or Jai and cry for awhile. Though I did some of that anyway on my time-killing walk between mass and breakfast up to the castle. God, I love this place- I don't want to leave it so soon.